Still alive...

...but not kicking. Rather letting the world be the world and curling myself like a cat, pitying myself.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting for so long, but I just didn't have any ambitions to do so.
At the moment [well, it has been like this for the past few weeks], I don't have any ambitions to do anything at all.
No uni, no sewing, no whatsoever.

To put matters short: I'll be seeing a psychotherapist next Monday and hopefully receive treatment from next year on.

To get me back on track.
To pull me from the hole I fall into with no ground to see to just land on with a SMACK and end it.
To get over hating me and my body and being scared of food on the one hand and just guzzling on the other.
To get my joy of living back.
To redevelop my hobbies and interests.
To actually DO something other than eating and doing sports to compensate the food, sleeping, crying, reading.

It can't stay like that.
It mustn't.