Still alive...

...but not kicking. Rather letting the world be the world and curling myself like a cat, pitying myself.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting for so long, but I just didn't have any ambitions to do so.
At the moment [well, it has been like this for the past few weeks], I don't have any ambitions to do anything at all.
No uni, no sewing, no whatsoever.

To put matters short: I'll be seeing a psychotherapist next Monday and hopefully receive treatment from next year on.

To get me back on track.
To pull me from the hole I fall into with no ground to see to just land on with a SMACK and end it.
To get over hating me and my body and being scared of food on the one hand and just guzzling on the other.
To get my joy of living back.
To redevelop my hobbies and interests.
To actually DO something other than eating and doing sports to compensate the food, sleeping, crying, reading.

It can't stay like that.
It mustn't.

As promised...

Hi there again :)

Now, where to start? This is going to be a very long and pic heavy post. Grab yourself a cuppa and enjoy :)

Jenny [she will be known to some of you as Razorblade Romance in NuS] sent me 10yards of white tubular crin - soon to be made into further cyber hairpieces. Remember my plan to have a blue-white outfit some day? I'm gathering materials at the moment. Still, I need heaps of wool. And tubular crin. And foam rubber. And satin ribbons.
Oooouh, it will be great *_*
I spent a few days with my mum last week and it was just lovely. We had plenty of plans, really awesome weather and just generally a wonderful time.

On Monday, we went on a bike trip through the forest, having stops here and there to drink tea, take photos or simply relax. We also went to the forest playground and sometimes I just love being the little girl again.

The plums were just perfect. Sweet, ripe and free of maggots. *_*

Look at the weather...and the view! Isn't that lovely?I know...mum and I hardly look like we were related to each other. But we are! Seriously! :D

Neither mum nor I are tooooo fussed about mushrooms, so we just let them were the belong: in the forest. I'm quite sure they would have been edible though.

Abandoned railway tracks in the middle of the forest. It looks great in autumnly daylight, but imagine it in dusk or dawn and with some fog...that would be haunting *shiver*

Inspired by the amazing Mademoiselle Chaos I decided to make some apple sauce myself and busied myself looking for apple trees - and windfalls. The apples might not look that yummy, but once the mushy bits were cut of, they were delicious.So Tuesday was dedicated all to cooking - we called it pumpkin day, as we wanted to try out some recipies with this magnificent vegetable: Soup, cake and pasta with pumpkin-and-sour-cream sauce. Nonnomnom, alltogether. *_*

The pumpkin and the carrot are from my grandparent's garden, the apples are some more windfalls from elsewhere.

Now that's what I call a carrot! :D

The recipes we cooked/baked/tried out. I really encourage you to try them out as well as long as there are still pumpkins around ;)

Mum trying to cut open the pumpkin...it wasn't especially easy, but we made it!

The more we cut it up, the more it seemed to become...

Lunch: Pasta with pumpkin-onion-and-sour-cream-sauce. Sooooo good!

We ended up with 6 jars of pumkin soup and 2 of apple sauce. Yumyum. I forgot to take a picture of the cake though^^

On Wednesday we went to a climbing forest and afterwards to granny's for dinner, but I don't have any pictures of that. Mum did also drive me, the bunny boys and heaps of stuff back home :)

Thursday we went shopping in Leipzig. I got new t-shirts and tights - part of it will end up in my everyday warderobe, the rest will go to the cyber compartment. Mum got herself a black satin corset - the next Goth party will be ours! xD

And as uni has got me back since today, I was a good girl and already did two thirds of the homework and went to the library to get some books. The green one is all about Russian grammar. As I didn't pass the exam in Russian in my first semester, [Shame on me >.>] I will go to at least some of the lectures for the first semester again. It depends on how much time I've got.
I was also very delighted to discover a DVD that goes more or less with the grammar...so I will listen to it every now and then. I really need to get a feeling for the russion language ._.

The orange book is on speech training. I decided to take it this semester already as it might come in quite handy, should I really decide on becoming an interpreter.One last thing: I love those free postcards you can get in clubs and bars...now look what I found in the weekend :D
[Anti: if you want one, mail me xD]@Nerd-Prinzessin: Dankedankedanke *_* Die Idee mit dem USB-Kabel ist göttlich...Schade, dass du kein Foto hast =/
@Anti: Auch dankeschön :) Ich fühl mich darin so sauigst wohl...wie du in Samt und Spitze vermutlich :D

Okay, enough for tonight. I still want to do some sewing and dancing and actually I need to do something for CyberCulture again too...I will be busy :D

Have a lovely night everyone :)

About the weekend

Hello you out there :)

Gee. Actually I still wanted to write a really detailed post about the time I spent with my mum, but I'm somehow not really in the mood for blogging. It will follow though. Promised.

Uni has started again today - yeah, I'll write about that later too. When I'm done with tidying up and doing homework.

Anyway, the weekend was simply AWESOME. We went out partying both on Friday and Saturday night, I danced a lot [I love it. Need.More.Industrial.Parties. *craaaaaaave*], we had heaps of fun together..."we" being me, my boyfriend [that wonderful man*_*], Ela, Michel aka Meister and Ilka aka Püppi. The picture was taken on Saturday Night, btw. I just love them, the whole lot. No one can beat the Malibu Crew! xDAnd I went crazy with crayons...more or less, but I liked the alliteration. :D I rather went crazy with liquid eyeliner, resulting in the following make-up for Friday and Sunday:

[It's all about connections xD]

[Feel.The.Pulse]

I know the ECG not to be perfecet...I'll practise, because I want it to be perfect.

Stay tuned! :)

The long overdue summary.

Hi there :)

Either I wasn't anywhere near my laptop or I simply didn't have the muse to blog; that's why it took me so long this time to publish another post.

First up: There was some more dirndl-action going on...Cao and I simply couldn't resist. :D [Btw: If one of the dresses were blue, I might even wear it. But wild horses couldn't drag me to the Wies'n.^^]
And now...I present everything [apart from the reparations] I made throughout my work experience or helped making. We sewed pieces of clothing for a boutique, so it was mostly not-so-ordinairy stuff from woolen, wildly-patterned fabrics. We usually took photos of one item only, but the models were always made in different sizes. Everyone at the Leihgarde, the Second Hand Store and the boutique was quite sorry to see me leave. Sure, staying longer would have been fun, but...uni is definitely more important now. Poor Cao...we had a great time together - including heaps of biscuits :D

And now? Now I'm back home after having spend a few days at my mum's [Where I will probably return to at the beginning of next week to do more muffin baking, enjoy more family time and pick out a few things from granny's sewing supplies] and had/have to sort out a few things.
Heavens, I wanted to do so much troughout the holidays and now they are nearly over and the list hasn't shrunk the slightest bit.
Oh, no, that was a lie just now...I read quite a lot. Gee, reading is so satisfying.

Bye for now :)

Random Stuff

Yeah...I'm fine, so just some random stuff today.

Breakfast with Sammy was lovely again [shame we won't be able to continue it when I'm back in Leipzig...but I'm also looking forward to returning home] and work was fun.

Cao has to sew a rain cape at the moment and the material is everything but a pleasure to deal with. Apart from that: She makes quite a nice bat...really gothy [is there such a word to adequately express the German "gruftig"? oO]I have a new hoodie, which is kind of zebra-patterned [Yes, I WILL dye it blue later :D] and as I discovered pants with a zebra print in the second hand store over the road [owned by the same guy in whose possession the "Leihgarde" is as well], we just had to complete this outift. I'm aware of the pants being rather ill-fitting.^^
Oh, and I did some egostroking today after work. As Cao hat to lock down the second hand store today, I went along and randomly tried on clothes: I'm down to a 36/38 now *_* Considering I used to be a 40/42 at the beginning of the year, I'm really pleased with myself. Now all I still need to get rid of is this redundant tummy flab.

Aaaaand I received heaps of new craft stuff today when the delivery arrived: Knitting frames, pliers, eyelets, buttons, light bulbs. Wonderful!You know what I'll be doing tomorrow morning? Go to the museum. There's an exhibition on at the moment which does sound really interesting: "What is beautiful?"

Good night everyone :)

Outside again.

The weekend...well, it was lovely. After work on Saturday Cao and I went dirndl-shopping and it was great fun. It's especially fun to spend money which is not your own :D

In the evening, my boyfriend and a friend of ours came here to visit me. We went to a party with Cao [but the party wasn't that great...just average] and on Sunday we enjoyed the afternoon outside and strolled through town. But as I haven't got pictures of this yet [Only Nico and Ilka took some, I had forgotten to take my camera along], I will write about this later.

After the two had left, I went to the park again. The plan had been going to the museum, but the weather was just toooo good. So, here are my impressions from this Sunday's park trip:

Balancing on one of those big blue pipes on the way to the park. As the pipe was quite broad, it wasn't too difficult though :)

Look whom I met:

I passed the Hygienemuseum, where I want to go to later this week. The building's architecture is very beautiful to me - pure, structured, straight lines. It reminds me a little bit of the BAUHAUS [which I really like]. Although the entrance hall of the museum is a bit too high too be truly bauhausian - too wasteful. These are only my thoughts on this building...and I haven't really got a clue about architecture. :DLook, how beautiful the sunrays are breaking through the leaves *_*

A very wonderful mosaique fountain...the colour gradient is just like water itself. Well; clean water.The leaves of the trees were mainly still a juicy green. I'm really looking forward to them all turning into different reds and yellows and oranges and browns. It will be like a grand display of fireworks.And suddenly I didn't want to walk any further, so I just laid down in the grass and looked up in the sky through the branches above me. It's a shame all the chestnut trees caught this bug. =/

It was just happiness. My smile just looks so funny as the sun was a little low already.I love the little bit of childhood which is still there within my...so I gathered chestnuts. I hope the big chestnut tree in front of grannys house is still full of those little prickly things when I'm there next week. :)Work today was okay. We had a dress from another shop in for some reparation and I just could'nt resist trying it on :D

Bye everyone =)

Friday Night...

...and I'm not going out. Instead of this, I'm sitting in front of my laptop, having a cup of tea next to me and listening - more or less voluntairily - to the noises in this house. There a lot of other people who also prefer to spend their Friday night at home - listening to very annoying music very loudly, shouting, hooting an the likes.
I can still enjoy Fever Ray though :)

Oh, by the way, the steam ironing continued today. Here's pictorial proof!
I'm trough with all the fabric, my arm does not hurt and yes, I did it all on my own accord - although Cao offered to take over from me.
We [Cao and me] are now having quite a fun task ahead of us: Shopping for the costume rental. In recent weeks, quite a large amount of people has been asking for dirndls and lederhosen. We just didn't have enough of that [and neither of white aprons without a bib] or not in the desired sizes, so the two of us will raid the stores tomorrow...It should be fun :D
After that, we'll go out at night...and my Beloved One is coming here again *_*

One last thing, before I switch of the laptop and go to bed with my book:
You might have noticed the Dshini-Banner below my blog's title. One click a day would be very kind. Yes, I know, it's just another kitchen appliance - but I want it :D

Have a wonderful start into the weekend everyone! ♥

Iron[ing] maiden

I admit it, the pun is bad :D
But I really did feel like that today. A delivery of about 38m of fabric arrived yesterday.
Yes, the turquoise-pink one is really violently colourful. Since the fabrics are all 80/20 wool-polyester-blends, they had to be steam ironed. I started today, I shall continue tomorrow.

When I drove home today, the clouds and the sun were creating a simply stunning image. The building in the middle is the Semper Opera, my camera would not focus on it better. But look a those sun rays *_*
You know what? I'm really looking forward to near future. Sure, uni will begin again and it will be quite stressful. But I'll see my beloved one again [the day after tomorrow hopefully], Mum, Dad, my grandparents, Dad is going to build me a new bed, I'll be going to a concert of Apocalyptica and so on...heaps of little things. They'll receive their very own post. :)